Buttercup
by thepuppiesinpink
Summary: This is some minorly angsty fluff about the beginnings of Buttercup. Small amounts of suggestive flirting included for your viewing pleasure.
1. Chapter 1

Here's the history of Buttercup, the horse invented and put to rest in one episode because plot.

I'm thinking this will be about three chapters. This is going to stay canon for the most part.

I'm still batting around ideas in my head, so let me know what you like, and I'll try to put more of it in the next chapters.

This story fits the timeline I established in _The Announcements._ For the sake of this story, they live in Elizabeth's childhood home, and that is their Virginia property. I think the flashback scenes about her taking the Iraq job had them in a different house, but I'm ignoring that for the sake of making things easier.

I'm also putting their wedding anniversary in January because that was when their anniversary episode aired. I don't think I ever said in Graduations when she was graduating. We can argue that Elizabeth finished a semester early and graduated in December.

I feel like I'm putting more effort into consistency than the writers do, but that's fine.

As always, my thanks to Broadwayfreak for the beta work.

* * *

2001

"Henry, he's perfect." Elizabeth smiled down at their new son.

After a few moments without a response from her husband, she looked up at him. He had his arm around her. They were sitting in a hospital bed. Elizabeth had just given birth, and she wanted nothing more than to relax with her family. When she looked at him, he had tears coming from his eyes.

"Babe?" Elizabeth was concerned.

"I'm fine. Don't worry." Henry kissed her cheek.

 _Why do people always say not to worry when there is every reason to worry?_ "What is it?"

"He's just so small. He's beautiful." Henry looked away. The emotions were getting to him.

"And here I thought women were the emotional ones," she said with a laugh. She took Henry's hand in hers, squeezing gently.

Henry reached out to stroke their new son's head. "I'm just… The world is so messed up right now. He's so little." More tears slipped out, but he didn't bother to wipe them away.

"I know. The world is so broken… We'll teach him to make up his own mind. He won't get sucked in."

Gathering himself together, Henry kissed his wife again. "Of course he won't."

"So, you thought of a name, Professor?" Eight months of pregnancy, and they hadn't quite settled on the right name.

Henry thought about the amount of pain in the world in the last week. He was convinced Elizabeth wouldn't have gone into early labor had it not been for the terrorist attacks. She had insisted on working through to the end of her pregnancy. He thought about the giant divides that were already beginning to form not only in the U.S., but also throughout the globe.

"What do you think about Jason?"

"In the mythology sense?" Elizabeth was surprised, and a little incredulous.

"No. In the biblical sense. Jason housed Paul and Silas when they were being persecuted. The name means 'healer.'" Henry felt a little self-conscious now.

Looking into her husband's eyes, Elizabeth was touched. She was so happy she had married this wonderful man.

"Yeah. I like it. Jason." She smiled down at their little boy.

"Now, if we want to be authentic to the Latin, we could…"

Elizabeth cut him off. She knew where this was going. "No. We are not spelling his name with an I. I'm drawing the line."

"Okay. I love you, babe." Henry leaned in to kiss her again.

"I love you, too. Now can we get some popcorn in here? I'm hungry."

* * *

"Henry." Tears were streaming down her face as she stood in the doorway to his study. Jason was crying, and Elizabeth could not soothe him. She was at her limit. The stress was getting to her.

Elizabeth had gone back to work only six weeks after Jason was born. She had to get back in the action. But the stress of taking on so much was getting to her. Ali was only two, and Jason still needed constant attention. Henry had tried to lighten his schedule, but with three kids, there just wasn't time for two jobs, the kids, and a supportive relationship with his wife. He may have gotten tenure before Jason was born, but his time was just as precious as it had been. Now that he had tenure, he was expected to take on a lot of administrative work. He turned from his computer, seeing her tears. Her face was puffy and red. She looked like she had been crying for just as long as Jason had. She always had trouble when her kids cried, particularly when she was tired or stressed. Knowing her own kids were crying without their parents being able to soothe them hit a little too close to home.

"Babe!" He got up immediately and took her in his arms. "Breathe, babe. It's okay. It's okay. He'll calm down. It's probably just gas. Everything is gonna be fine. Deep breaths."

"I'm just… so… stressed out. Nothing is working. I can't do this. Conrad wants me to go back to Iraq, and Jason won't stop crying, and Stevie won't wear socks because she says the seam hurts her toes, and Ali is cutting a molar, and I'm just so tired…" Elizabeth just needed the chance to collapse.

Henry led her over to a chair and had her sit. He knelt in front of her, taking both her hands in his. Jason's cries could still be heard in the background, but neither paid attention. Henry reached up to smooth his wife's hair back.

"It's gonna be okay. I promise, baby."

Elizabeth wouldn't meet his eyes.

Henry's voice was quiet and earnest. "Look at me, babe." He reached up to take her chin in his hand. "They won't be little forever. They're gonna grow out of this. We've seen this before with Stevie. We know what we're doing. Just gotta breathe. We'll let Stevie wear her socks inside out. There's some teething gel in the cabinet for Ali. And we'll give Jason some Tylenol. He'll be fine, babe. Why don't you let me handle this? Hmm? You go get ready for bed. Take a bath. Shave your legs, both of them, at the same time…"

That got a laugh from Elizabeth. She had needed Henry to give her some sanity back. It became so hard to think logically when she was so tired and stressed.

"Will you come join me when you're done?" She looked hopeful. She needed this.

Henry pulled her to her feet, giving her a gentle kiss. "Of course, babe. Now, go relax. Light some candles, put on some music, and pretend you're on a beach. I'll come give you a massage in a minute."

Elizabeth closed her eyes and gave a soft groan of pleasure. "Oh, you're good."

"I know what you need, babe. You just need to be treated like an adult. You spend too much time with toddlers." He smiled affectionately.

She wrapped her arms around Henry's waist. He was still in a suit, while she was in sweats. She loved her kids more than anything, but she was overwhelmed.

"Okay, we can cuddle later, babe. Go on up. I'll get the kids to bed."

* * *

After putting the kids down, Henry entered their bedroom. He found her in their bathroom, asleep in the tub. He wanted to giggle at her, but he knew she was having a bad evening.

Leaning down, he brushed her cheek with the back of his fingers. "Hey there, gorgeous… Wake up."

She blinked up at him and smiled. "Hey, yourself."

"You ready to get out of there?" Henry grabbed a towel and helped her out of the tub. He got a nightgown out of her drawer for her and helped her slip it over her head.

She lay back against the pillows, thinking they had never been as comfortable as they were right then. Henry had known what she needed, and she was so thankful for him.

"Thanks for tonight. I needed that." Elizabeth's voice was tired. She was just about to succumb to sleep.

Henry got ready for bed quickly and curled behind his wife. "You just needed a few minutes to yourself to unwind. You're gonna be just fine."

Elizabeth mumbled her assent before falling asleep. She loved falling asleep in Henry's arms.

He watched her sleep for a few minutes, thinking of how he could help her. An idea began to form in his mind. She really did need more opportunities to get a break. She needed release from her stress. Working full time and taking care of three children at night was too much when your job entailed as much as hers did.

Henry went to sleep, plans taking shape in his mind. He had heard a professor in the English department talking in the faculty dining room that very day, and he was going to go meet with him the next day.

* * *

"Dr. Miller!" Henry saw the English professor leaving the dining room just as he entered.

The man turned to Henry, an easy expression on his face. He seemed like a very pleasant person just by the relaxed way he carried himself.

"I'm Henry McCord, I teach in the Theology department."

"Oh yes! You just had a book published, didn't you?"

"I did, thanks for remembering."

"What can I do for you?"

"I overheard you yesterday saying you're looking to sell a horse."

"I am. We had a foal born a while back, and I thought my youngest daughter would take to riding, but she doesn't seem interested. My oldest is ready to go to college, and I'm not sure my wife wants to take care of a young horse."

"Would you mind if I came by and took a look? I think my wife would really like a horse. We have a few right now, but they're getting pretty old. I want to surprise her. Our anniversary is coming up in January."

Dr. Miller smiled. "That'd be just fine. Let me give you my card, and I'll write the address on the back. I should be around all weekend if you want to stop by." He took out a card and bent over a table to write his address.

"Thank you. I appreciate it. I think Elizabeth will really like this."

"I think I've met your wife before. Tall, blonde Vogue cover model?"

"That's her." Henry smiled.

"How long has she been riding?"

"She grew up with horses. She showed some when she was a teenager. We've still got a couple horses that her parents bought when she was young. They're too old to do much, but I think she would love to start riding again. We've got three young children, and I think she needs something to do." Henry was leaving out several important details, but this man didn't need to know everything.

The man looked Henry up and down. "You come by this weekend and look at Buttercup, and I'll give you a good deal. Your wife needs a horse to ride."

"Thank you, sir. I'll do that. If you don't mind, how'd she get her name?"

"Please, call me Frank. Buttercup is male, actually. And the name came from my daughter. She was only about six when Buttercup was born." The man extended his hand, and Henry shook it with a smile.

"Our oldest is about that age. It's quite a time, isn't it?"

"That it is. Now, I'll see you this weekend. I need to go teach."

"Of course, I'll be in touch."

Henry took his seat for lunch with a hope that this horse would work out. It sounded perfect for Elizabeth.

* * *

"Alright, you have to keep your eyes closed now." Henry smiled at Elizabeth. She hated surprises.

They were standing at the stables. It was the night before their anniversary. The winter air was chilly, but Henry didn't notice at all.

"Why are we out here? Can't we go back inside? I'll make it worth your while." She smiled seductively.

"As tempting as that sounds, I have some introductions to make first." Henry started walking around to the furthest stall.

"Henry, we've been married twelve years… I'm pretty well acquainted with… Oh! He's beautiful!" Elizabeth saw Henry leading a brown horse out to her.

"This is Buttercup." Henry smiled at her joy. The expression on her face was radiant. He had made a good choice.

"Buttercup?" Elizabeth leaned around to look at the underside of the horse.

Laughing, Henry explained, "He was named by a six year-old."

"Ah! Well, he's perfect."

"He's all yours, babe. You always talk about how much you enjoyed riding when you were younger. I don't want you to lose that."

Emotion played across her face. "Thank you." She leaned up to give Henry a kiss.

"You're welcome. Now, what were you saying about going back inside and getting better acquainted?" He smiled down at her, nuzzling her nose with his.

She giggled. "Oh, I think that could be arranged. You got him all taken care of?"

"Yep. You've managed to teach this city boy a few things."

She leaned up to whisper in his ear. "Why don't you take me upstairs, and I'll teach you some more?" She finished her request with a soft kiss to his neck.

"Uh.. Ok… Yeah. Let's go." Henry started to take her hand and lead her back to the house.

"Henry, are you forgetting something?" Elizabeth could barely hide her laughter

"What?" He turned back, his cheeks flushed.

"You need to put the horse away."

"Oh. Yeah. You go on up. I'll be right there."

"Don't be long…" She trailed off, giving Henry a look that ensured he would be following her as quickly as he could.


	2. Chapter 2

February 14th, 2002

Henry was busy preparing for Valentine's Day. He wanted to pamper his wife. She had had to work so much overtime in the last few weeks that she was never quite sure where she was. He would find her waking up disoriented, unsure of whether she had fallen asleep at home or in the office. It told him that she was so exhausted. He guessed she had been falling asleep at the office, too.

Elizabeth had to attend a corporate mixer between CIA and DIA because it was one of the new intelligence initiatives to get the organizations to work more cohesively. Henry was planning to pick her up from the mixer so he could take her to dinner and a movie.

After driving to the venue, he parked the car, and proceeded inside. He stood along the wall, looking for the blond hair that would stand out against the sea of bald heads.

Eventually, he spotted her. She was laughing with a man about their age. They looked like some of the only young professionals attending the party. Henry watched the man touch Elizabeth's shoulder and hold her gently. She leaned into him and whispered something into his ear.

Henry felt his blood run cold. It wasn't that he didn't trust Elizabeth, but his sensitive side felt hurt. She had been spending so much time at work. Maybe it had made her lonely. Maybe she needed to find comfort. She needed attention, just like anyone else. Or maybe he had been trying so hard that she needed to assert her independence. Maybe she felt smothered. Henry's thoughts were running away with him.

As Henry turned toward the door, Elizabeth saw him. She hurried as quickly as she could in her high heels over to him. She was so relieved to see him. The long hours at work had been stressful and difficult, and she needed to be comforted. The things she had to see and think about with her project at work made her really sensitive about being taken away from her family. She threw her arms around Henry, eager to have a quiet dinner with him to center herself in their relationship.

He didn't respond in kind, though. His body remained stiff and cold. He normally wrapped his body around hers when they embraced. It was as if his body wanted to take hers into itself and hold it. His physical presence needed to intertwine with her physical presence. Once their bodies were connected, the walls around their minds would dissolve and allow them to fully experience the presence of the other.

"Do you have your bag?" Henry's voice was emotionless.

Elizabeth was a little surprised. He was normally so much warmer, especially after being separated from her all day. "Yeah. I'm ready."

"Good. I'm taking you home."

"I thought we were going out tonight."

"I don't feel like it anymore. We're going home."

"Henry… What…?" Elizabeth was incredibly confused.

"You seemed too busy talking to that guy over there to be bothered going to dinner with me." He turned, wrapping his arm around his wife, and directing her toward the door.

"Stop. That was nothing, Henry. That was me complaining about our supervisor and not wanting to get caught. We've had to work late a lot, and we're frustrated." She stood still, not letting him take her outside.

"Oh, so you two can bond over your frustration and loneliness, is that it?" Henry was hurt.

"No. That's not it, Henry. I feel attacked. What do you think I did wrong?"

"I think you liked flirting with that guy over there."

"Henry, please." His accusations were cutting her to the quick. _How could you think I could even do that?_

"We can talk about this later. But I'm taking you home." Henry wanted to get out of the situation. He didn't want to respond while he was upset.

Elizabeth refused to budge. "I'm not a child. You can't order me around." She was getting upset. Had she done something wrong to let Henry think she didn't love him? Her goal had always been to make him feel secure in their relationship.

Henry was angry and confused. Why didn't she want to come home with him? Did she not like him anymore? He hated everything about this situation.

"Fine. If you'd rather stay here with your boyfriend…" Tears were in Henry's eyes. He turned to leave, not noticing Elizabeth following behind him. When he got to the car, he saw her walking silently with her head down.

They had certainly managed to hurt each other's feelings.

They sat in the car in silence, not looking at each other. When they got back to the farm, they stayed in the car for a minute. Neither knew what to say.

"I'm going inside, Elizabeth. The kids have already eaten."

"Okay." She didn't make a move. Henry left and shut his door softly. Her shoulders started quivering before she realized she was crying. The car suddenly felt suffocating. She needed to get away. She ran out, slamming the door behind her, and rushed to the stables.

Buttercup hung his head over the stall door when he heard Elizabeth coming. She began to prepare him to ride, even though it was dark. They had lights set up in the ring connected to the stable, and Elizabeth needed to get away from her thoughts.

"Hey, there. You had a good day?" She smiled when she looked at her horse. Buttercup sniffed the top of her head, mussing her hair. Elizabeth reached up to hug his neck, relaxing into the homey smell of her horse.

"You wanna go run around?" The horse nickered happily.

Once they were out in the paddock, Elizabeth felt free. Running flat out around the perimeter whipped the air through her hair. She felt her shoulders relax as she leaned into the turns. After a few minutes of breathtaking speed, she slowed them down to a peaceful walk. Buttercup meandered around at her direction, picking up on how stressed his rider was.

Elizabeth knew Henry had been planning a nice evening for them, but that obviously hadn't worked out. _Why did you even respond like that? What happened?_

She wandered around for a while, comforted by the solid presence of her horse beneath her. He wasn't going to drop her anytime soon. His warmth and physical bulk soothed her nerves. Her problems seemed intangible, but her horse was known and understandable.

"I messed up, boy. Henry needs more of my attention than I've been giving him. Even if I have to work, he needs me here." She knew Henry's father hadn't been as supportive as he had needed him to be. She had to spend some energy undoing the insecurities he had from childhood. She didn't resent the effort it took, but she did sometimes resent that her father-in-law hadn't supported his son.

After another half hour of reflection, Elizabeth finally felt calm enough to go find her husband again.

"You're such a good boy, Buttercup." It was the first time she had ridden him when she was upset. He hadn't gotten frustrated with her or bucked. He stood there with his steady grace that was characteristic of the other man in her life. Riding Buttercup made her feel more connected to Henry. This horse would always be part of Henry. He had given her this horse because he wanted to give her comfort and calm.

She directed Buttercup back to the gate and dismounted. When she turned, she saw that Henry had been watching her, leaning against the fence. He looked like he was deep in thought, so she put Buttercup away before she went out to her husband.

"Hey."

"Hey."

They looked at each other. Elizabeth wanted to gauge what he was thinking before she addressed their argument.

"I know you weren't flirting. I'm sorry. I tried to make today into too big of a deal. I shouldn't have treated you that way. I should have trusted you." Henry looked down, ashamed.

She wasn't sure what to say, so she walked up to him and buried her face in his chest. "I love you so much. I'm sorry I haven't been showing you that enough."

"You show me that every day. You forget I know where you sleep." Henry took her face in his hands and kissed her tenderly. "You're so wonderful, babe. God, I love you."

"Let's go inside. We can watch a movie. It's still Valentine's Day, after all." Elizabeth wanted to spend the evening wrapped in his arms. Even if the evening hadn't turned out well, he had been protective of her and treated the other man with jealousy. That was unhelpful, sure, but endearing. She loved him for wanting her all to himself.

He smiled. "Sounds good to me." They hugged tightly. "Or, you know… we could take a shower together…"

"Is that the best line you can come up with?" A smirk crossed her face.

"No. But you smell like horse."

Suddenly a little self-conscious, Elizabeth replied, "Oh. Well, blame Buttercup."

"I'm never blaming Buttercup for anything. He made you feel better after I hurt your feelings. I owe that horse a lot."

"Thank you for buying him. I can't imagine life without him now." She buried her face in his shoulder. She hadn't talked about all the horses she had as a teenager, but Henry knew that horses had helped her cope with her parents' deaths.

"We've done good, haven't we?"

"We have."

They walked up to the house, arm in arm. The day hadn't gone as planned, but Buttercup had made it significantly better.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: We've at minimum got three more chapters to go. If you have any ideas you want to see, let me know. I've been surprised at how much substantive stuff I have managed to get out of this horse plot. I really thought it would turn into a crackfic.

Just fyi, these next two chapters are a bit more angsty. I've got some fluff planned afterward, and there isn't anything awful in the next couple chapters. It's just emotional.

Even when I try to write fluff, it turns out a little angsty. I can't help myself.

I've got chapter 4 ready to go up whenever, but I may go a little dark for the next week or two because finals and moving and _life, man._

* * *

April 2002

Elizabeth was packing her suitcase, getting ready to go to Baghdad again. She had just told Stevie that she couldn't go to her end of the year ice skating recital.

"Mom! Everyone else's mom is coming!"

"I know, baby. I want to be there, but I have to go to this conference in Salt Lake City. I have to go." She couldn't predict when they caught the terrorist she had been tracking, and they needed an interrogator who was familiar with him.

"That's stupid!"

Elizabeth laughed. Well, maybe her alibi was a little stupid. "I don't like it, either. But you can be a big girl and do it all by yourself. Dad's going to record it so we can watch it together." Her heart really did break to miss her daughter's performance.

"You said you would be there! You promised! If you don't want to go, then cancel your stupid trip. Say you can't go." Stevie was absolutely livid now. Her youthful righteous anger filled her body. Every fiber of her being was electric.

"I have to go, baby. But I'll be back before you know it." Elizabeth's instinct told her to comfort her daughter. She could sense some tears needed to come out. She stood up to take Stevie into her arms, but Stevie recoiled. "Come here, baby girl. It's okay."

"No! It's not okay! Just go! I hate you!" Stevie was screaming now. She ran out of the room to go find… something. Anything. She needed to run. She wanted to run fast enough to get to the moment before her mom had told her she was going to the conference. It didn't make sense, but nothing made sense right then.

Henry, standing in the kitchen, heard the exchange and watched his ladies run out of the house, one after the other, with tears in their eyes. He dried the plate in his hands and set his apron on the counter. He knew Elizabeth could fend for herself, but he needed to make sure Stevie didn't hurt herself somehow.

"Stevie? You okay?"

* * *

Elizabeth ran to the stables. Stevie had said she hated her. _God, that hurt_. None of her kids had ever said they hated her. They were little, of course, but oh gosh. The teen years were coming. It scared her to death.

"Buttercup, you up to go riding in the woods?" The horse neighed affirmatively, and Elizabeth was ready for a hard ride. She wanted her bones to be sore before she went back inside. Thankfully, Buttercup could go mile for mile with her. He was a very hardy horse.

"Good. Let's go. You can earn your hay today."

Elizabeth rode through the trees, letting Buttercup's steady footfalls calm her nerves. She pushed her horse to an exhilarating pace, particularly given that they were in dense trees. The edge of fear made her feel alive.

They came to a narrow creek at the end of the wood, and Buttercup tried to slow down. Elizabeth's head was full of the rush of the ride, and she pushed him on. They had been jumping together consistently for weeks, and the creek looked really narrow. Buttercup could handle this.

Buttercup dutifully sped up and prepared for the jump. He was perfect, gathering his feet in perfect time. They spent a couple seconds suspended in the air above the creek, and time stopped. It was just the break Elizabeth needed. She was a grown woman, and she didn't need to get caught up in the angst of a preteen. When she was already upset, though, it was easy to get tangled up in the web of youthful emotions. She cared about her daughter, and she cared about her happiness. If her own mother had been more present during her teen years, she might have been more ready to release control, but for now, she wanted to be present for Stevie. This time with Buttercup was necessary, though. There was only so much time with a child an adult could manage. The trees, grass, and dirt surrounding her helped her put things in perspective. Stevie's problems were the transitory problems of a child. She felt like she could breathe again.

When they began to land, though, what Elizabeth thought was grass turned out to be a moss covered log. It cracked immediately under the great horse's weight. She was momentarily terrified. She felt herself begin to fall, but before she could slip, Buttercup expertly pulled his feet from the broken log and placed them just beyond the broken pieces. The movement jarred Elizabeth, but she was safe. They both were.

The tears fell in earnest now. The adrenaline broke through the stress she had been holding back. "You're such a good boy, Buttercup. Thank you. You saved my butt. I'm so sorry I told you to do that. You knew that would break, didn't you?" She directed her horse to a clearing and dismounted quickly, still shaking.

"You're so good, Buttercup. How did you get your feet out like that?" They faced each other, nuzzling in the setting sun. Elizabeth knew she could have easily fallen off and hurt herself and Buttercup pretty badly. Buttercup was still pretty green, and she hadn't ridden much in years, aside from the past few months. But somehow, Buttercup had kept it together. She owed this horse for this.

"Let's go home. We'll go by the bridge, how does that sound?" The horse only sniffed a spot on her shoulder, but Elizabeth knew he had saved her. She hadn't brought her cell phone on the ride. They didn't get service on the farm, yet, anyway. She would have been left to limp back as best as she could, and at this point, they were still several miles from the house.

When they got back to the stable, Elizabeth checked him over for any signs of injury or tenderness at all, but found none. She rubbed him down, and gave him some extra oats. He deserved it.

When she walked back into the house, she was shaking from the severity of what could have happened. Henry saw her when she walked in and enveloped her in his embrace.

"I'm glad you came back. I think Stevie is ready to talk… Babe? You're shaking." He looked at her more closely. "You're white as a sheet. Are you okay? Are you hurt?" He started looking her over, checking for injuries, just as she had done to Buttercup minutes earlier.

"I'm fine. Henry, I'm fine." She was trying to convince herself just as much as her husband.

"What happened?" Henry was still worried. He led her to the sofa and had her sit down. She winced when she sat, and he noticed.

"We went over the creek, and this log broke, and I nearly fell, but Buttercup fixed it. He was perfect."

Henry's face blanched. "Follow my finger." He moved his finger side to side and up and down in front of her, looking for telltale tremors in her eyes. When he didn't see any, he had her stand up. "Touch your nose and then touch my finger." This time, he kept moving his finger so Elizabeth would have to track it quickly to do as he asked.

She wanted to be annoyed, but she knew if Buttercup hadn't acted as quickly, she easily could have gotten a concussion, or worse. Henry was right to check her over.

"Walk in a line, toe to heel."

When she had done that, Henry visibly relaxed. "Okay. You're good. Does anything hurt? You winced when you sat down."

"I'm a little sore. It was jarring, but I'm not injured." Elizabeth sounded just as relieved as her husband.

"Okay. I'll have to thank that horse for keeping you safe."

They both smiled. Buttercup was quickly becoming the "other man" in her life.

"You said Stevie was better?" Elizabeth clutched Henry's shirt in her fists. She hadn't forgotten the words that had come out of her daughter that afternoon.

Henry sighed. "She'll be fine, babe. She's sorry. I think she's more nervous about the recital than she is upset that you're gonna miss it. I'm not sure how much longer she's going to stick with ice skating."

"Well, that's a shocker." They had already been through a list of activities that their daughter had tried and eventually quit.

"I think she also thought if you weren't there, she wouldn't get ice cream after the recital. I told her we could still go out with her friends for ice cream afterward, and that seemed to do the trick."

Elizabeth barked a laugh, "Upstaged by ice cream. I mean… At least she has priorities."

"Like mother, like daughter." Henry tweaked her nose. "Now go get the smell of horse off, and make up with Stevie. I'll give you a massage when you get done. I don't want your muscles all stiff when you get over there." It was as much as he was willing to broach the subject of her upcoming Iraq trip. It was only for four days, but he was still incredibly worried.

"Yessss, oh gosh. I love you." She seemed to melt in his arms.

It was times like this that he remembered how slim his wife was. She was small, and he could hardly believe that she was being sent over to intimidate terrorists. He had seen her authoritative side, but when she was tired and worn out like this, he wanted to take her and protect her from the atrocities in the world.

"Yeah, yeah. Now go." He gave her a nudge up the stairs. She stuck her tongue out at him as she disappeared into the bathroom. Henry smiled. She was strong, capable, and independent, but she was his. He couldn't help but think that she was leaving him just like he had left her in Desert Storm. It was completely different, but he didn't like the way he was the one left at home to hold down the fort. He felt like he had no control. At least when he was deployed, he was the one charged with a safe return. Now, all he had to do was hope. And take care of the kids, of course. He rolled his eyes as he ascended the stairs, thinking of all that the next few years would bring with Stevie. Boys, parties, makeup… He definitely needed Elizabeth there to help him.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I promise there will be more fluff next chapter.

After that, all bets are off since we're going to move into the 2003/Iraq plot. I am committing to staying canon, though. So it won't get too bad.

My thanks to Broadwayfreak, as usual, for the beta work.

Chapter 5 is just about written, but don't expect too much from me since I'm in the middle of finals season.

* * *

May 2002

Elizabeth had been home from Iraq for a few days now, but she still didn't quite feel like she was truly home. She hadn't seen anything exceedingly gruesome, but what she had seen still haunted her, and she wasn't able to verbalize the reason. Henry had tried valiantly to get her to talk to him. He knew the type of stuff she would have seen, and he knew that she would need to talk about it. He had had his buddies. Comrades in arms. But Elizabeth went on her own as an independent operator. She had a team, of course, and plenty of bodyguards, but she didn't have the fellow servicemen Henry had had. She had been there quickly, in and out. It was a shock. Unlike her, he had had time to adjust on both ends of the trip. He had been able to process what he had seen with his fellow men.

"You want to come with me to take Ali outside? She wants to go swing." Henry tried to reach Elizabeth. They had a little swing set in a fenced in area behind the house. The kids could run around as much as they wanted without getting into too much trouble. It was Saturday now. Stevie was spending the day with a friend, but that left Henry and Elizabeth with two young kids to entertain.

She smiled. He really was trying very hard to pull her back, and she appreciated his effort. "Okay. Sounds good."

They went outside together, Jason stayed inside sleeping in his crib.

"Mom, push me, push me!" Alison really was just the cutest.

Elizabeth smiled. "Alright, honey. I'm coming." She pushed Ali for a while on the swings, and then she watched her go down the slide several times. After about twenty minutes, they were all just about ready to head back in.

"Mom, look at me, I can swing by myself!" Ali wanted to stay out a few minutes longer.

"Okay, but we've got to go back inside in five minutes." She knew Jason would be waking up from his nap soon. He would need to be changed and given a snack.

Henry pulled his wife into a hug, looking out across their land. This was _home_ , and he didn't want her to forget it. Their children kept them grounded. This was what mattered. This was their reality. They lived in Virginia with three wonderful children who were safe and loved.

Alison was still swinging, and she was getting annoyed that her parents' attentions were no longer focused on her.

"Look! I can jump real high!" When the swing was at its highest point, she leapt out of the seat.

Elizabeth knew what her daughter had done before she turned to look. She saw her little girl lose control of herself midair. She landed too hard, and with too much forward momentum. Alison fell on her knees, and then caught herself on her hands. She started wailing immediately.

Henry rushed toward her. Elizabeth stood stock-still. She wanted to move, but her body felt frozen. Her body didn't respond to her requests for it to move. She felt like she was watching a movie of herself and the situation. None of it was quite real.

Henry picked Alison up in his arms. She was crying something awful, but she didn't seem seriously injured. Her knees and hands were bleeding, but that happened to toddlers all the time. Henry noticed his wife wasn't beside him anymore and took Ali over to her mother.

"She's gonna be fine, babe. Right, Ali girl? Just some scraped knees." Henry was trying to make eye contact with his wife. She seemed to be looking beyond him. "Elizabeth? Babe?"

Elizabeth was locked in her mind. She didn't see grass in front of her. She only saw sand.

 _In Iraq, there had been a little village that her convoy had stopped in to refuel. She had gotten out to stretch her legs when she saw a little girl about Alison's age. It had put a smile on her lips, thinking that they were all the same, really. People were people. The little girl had been running around between the legs of everyone going about their business. Elizabeth hadn't seen any parents running after her or watching her._

 _When the little girl had tripped over her own feet and scraped her knee, no adult came to comfort her. No one dried her tears. She curled into a ball, trying to get out of the adults' ways while also trying to protect her injured knee. Elizabeth wanted to comfort the child, but she knew she couldn't draw attention to herself._

" _Mark, where does that little girl belong?" She asked the sergeant in charge of their transportation._

 _The man looked over. "Oh, there are a lot of orphaned children around. There's an orphanage that gives them beds and night and food throughout the day, but they spend a lot of time running around." It wasn't an unusual sight. He wasn't concerned. The kids had basic care, which was better than many of the people over there._

" _What happened to her parents?" Elizabeth still couldn't take her eyes off the little girl._

" _I'm not sure about her specifically. But most of them have had parents killed in IEDs or just street violence." With that, Mark moved off to make sure they were refueled._

"Elizabeth? Babe, I'm going to take her inside and get her cleaned up. I'll come right back, okay?" He was worried. But maybe, just maybe, he would be able to get through to his wife now. Maybe she was ready to talk.

Elizabeth tried to break through her fog, but she couldn't. She saw Henry take their daughter back into the house. After a few seconds, she realized she was walking quickly to the stable. She wanted to take Buttercup out. That was what she did when she needed to sort through any complex emotion. Buttercup would keep her safe while she was working it out.

She rode in circles around the paddock, not really noticing what she was doing. Buttercup was the one leading Elizabeth. She couldn't get her mind wrapped around what she had seen. How was she supposed to respond? What did it tell her? Was she a bad person because her daughter had everything she wanted and needed when others had so little? She felt confused. A deep sadness filled her heart, and she didn't know how to shake it.

When Henry came back and didn't find his wife, he went to the riding ring. He found Elizabeth riding Buttercup, but he could tell the horse was doing most of the work. He hopped the gate and walked up to the pair. Buttercup stopped, and tilted his head back at his rider. Henry seemed to get the message. She needed something. She wasn't okay, and she needed some help. Buttercup knew it, and so did Henry.

Henry took Buttercup's lead in his hand and began to lead the pair in the same slow circles. Elizabeth felt numb. She sat on top of the horse, physically assured by the steady plodding beneath her feet. They walked that way for fifteen or twenty minutes with no change at all in Elizabeth's demeanor. She wouldn't talk, though Henry tried a couple times to ask her what was wrong.

After a while though, Elizabeth realized why she was reacting so badly. She had worked out that seeing Alison hurt reminded her of the little girl in Iraq, but that shouldn't have made her respond so badly. But it hit her that she was worried her children would be left like that little girl. She knew what that little girl had felt. Her own parents had been killed when she was far too young. Was she risking her life by going to Iraq? She hadn't been scared for herself… but what if she were killed? What if her toddlers were the ones walking around with no mother? How could she go over there in good conscience and risk her life? She was risking her children's futures. They needed their mother.

She doubled over, tears coming profusely now. Henry stopped Buttercup and led them back to the stable. He helped Elizabeth down and held her close to him.

"I've got you, baby. Let it out. I'm right here." He smoothed her hair down, hoping he could offer her some comfort. She still didn't talk, but at least they had broken through the wall of stoicism.

After her tears dried up, Elizabeth insisted on rubbing down Buttercup herself. Henry stayed with them, leaning against the doorframe. When she was done, she stood in front of Henry, looking down silently.

"Come on, babe. Let's get you inside." Henry's voice was husky with emotion. His woman was a shell of her usual collected self.

She nodded and allowed herself to be taken into the house and settled on the sofa with a cup of tea. Henry checked on the kids, but they were happy with the television on and some crayons and paper spread out.

Elizabeth looked up at Henry as he entered the living room from the nursery. She finally seemed present, at least.

"You want to tell me about it?" He took her hands in his own.

She nodded and began to talk. This was when she needed her theologian husband. Some days she needed her military husband, but today she needed her theologian husband.

Henry made a mental note to thank that horse for bringing his wife back to him. Buttercup hadn't carried her around the paddock today. He had carried her back from Iraq, and Henry was convinced he couldn't have done it alone. She needed that horse.


End file.
